Today is day 8 till we find out about the grant, and as I sit here tonight my mind is filled with so many thoughts.  Those of excitement for everything we are doing and the hope that maybe this time next year we will have a child of our own or at least be preparing for one! After yesterday, and the messages we heard preached, my mind and heart have been opened to some things that I’ve already known, but haven’t really and fully taken to heart. Why? Well… I guess I thought at this time some of these things did not pertain to me because we don’t have a child and while it IS different, I know there are things I can still be and should be doing now. Not that I haven’t, but we can ALWAYS be doing more! After yesterday’s messages that were preached at church I’ve seen that my heart has not been completely in the right place. Not that I’ve done some awful thing, but that I’ve failed to see the importance of what I should be doing now.

Someone once gave me a Bible verse that was a blessing and help to them when they were facing some of the very same things we are. The verse is found in Psalm 113:9

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9

When this verse was first shared with me some time ago, I read it, I prayed about it, I meditated on it, I talked to Jonathan about it, I studied it out with other commentaries. I wanted to understand what this verse had to say to me. I can’t really explain it, but somehow this verse brought me both confusion and peace. After a long time of searching it out, what I got from it was that while I do not have children of my own now, I am to be happy in the place that God has placed me in. Take the things that He has for me to do and do it with everything I have. For now, that is being a wife to the wonderful husband God has blessed me with. Jonathan is a blessing to me, he helps me, he prays for me, he guides our home, he works hard for what we need, and lets me have to many of the things that I just want. 😉 He is good to me, he is a good man, he loves me, but what I love most about him is how he loves the Lord! I know he’s not perfect, but I think he almost is, and he is perfect for me! God has truly blessed us… He has blessed me…

Jonathan is also the youth director at our church so I try to help him with any of those areas that I possibly can. As the youth director’s wife I want to strive to be a good light and example to our young people. I suppose especially to the young girls and young ladies of our church. Their lives and souls are precious to the Lord, and to me! I want them to know they can come to me for help if they need it, that I pray for them, I love them, and will always speak truth to them. I never want to do anything or say anything that might lead one of them in the wrong way. I want to be a blessing to their lives and a help to them. When we first came to our church most of the young people were in their early teens and younger. Most of those young teenagers are grown now and off to college, and we have a new generation of young ones coming up behind them. This year has been 5 years since we came to FBC and as I look back over those few short years, I feel like there was so much more I should have done. I feel like I failed them. They are a great group of young people, and I love seeing their love for the Lord. I just hope that the small part that I have had in their lives up to this point has been good. I pray that as this new generation comes along that I can be a good example. I know it is only through the Lord!

I also have 8 of the world’s greatest nephews, 1 precious niece, and another niece on the way! I am one very blessed “Aunt Becky”. 🙂 It may sound silly to some people, and while I know these children are not my own, they mean everything to me! They are my world right now. I can’t imagine not being able to be a part of their lives. A couple of our nephews are getting into their early teens, but they still like coming to stay with us. I guess I’m not too old or un-cool yet. 😉 Of course I love when they come stay with us. I like to spoil them a little. I like to read books, and play board games, they all like video games (of course) so I like to chime in sometimes and play a game too. I like going to McDonald’s and ordering lots of kids meals, I love going to the park to play, I like play dough, sidewalk chalk, and finger paint. Sometimes my fridge is so full of their little “Masterpieces” that its hard to get the door open so I can pour one of them a glass of Chocolate milk, but that’s ok too! While I love having them around and doing all the fun things with them… I want to be a good example to them as well. When they look at Uncle Jonathan & Aunt Becky I want them to of course think we are lots of fun, but most importantly I want them to know how much we love the Lord too. I want to be a GOOD Aunt, not just someone they see from time to time or for the holidays! Ryder and Braden are old enough now that they know truth, they understand it. What a crucial time in their lives, and they may not even realize it. I want to be a good example to them.  Daniel just recently ask the Lord to save him! What a precious moment in his life. There is no greater decision that he could have made in his life than to trust Jesus! I love hearing him talk about Bible stories. Zekkie and Jackson have just started kindergarten. They are already learning Bible verses, and simple truths that will help to shape their lives. Timothy and Colt are still very young, but it won’t be long until they too  will reach the age of accountability. For right now though… its just fun being little, and playing all day. Eva is 2. She is a very small girl, but she is feisty, she loves to be prissy, but she doesn’t mind getting her sandals dirty either. 😉 Gunner is already 3 weeks old! I can’t believe it. These precious lives are not just kids underfoot! They are souls that our Savior loves. He has a plan designed for each of them, but the devil and the world wants them too. What a scary thought! I hope I will always be a good example and help to them.

I may not be a Mom yet, but I am a wife, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a step-daughter, a step-sister, an aunt, a friend, a sister-in-law, a Christian, and a youth director’s wife (or as one of the young people called me one time, a Youth directoress)! Am I doing what I can for those around me? I’ve often asked myself… What is my place? What am I good at? Could it be that it’s just being good at those things I have talked about? Being there for all these people in my life? Being happy where He has placed me? I still don’t really know the answer to that question, but I guess it’s something to ponder on!

I hope I’ve not been boring to y’all with this post! Please keep praying for us as we are waiting to find out about the grant. Tomorrow I’ll try to do a post about the messages that I was talking about that were preached yesterday, and how they spoke to my heart. I suppose for now though today’s post is long enough! 

God Bless Each One Of You! 

-Becky